I’ve looked everywhere for it but no luck . I can’t remember laying it down anywhere where I could have gone off and forgotten it. I’m not aware that any of my other possessions are missing, so I doubt that my pocket has been picked or my purse snatched and it has been stolen. (I rather doubt that there would be much of a market for a used sense of humor anyway.)
It’s just been the past few weeks that I realized that it was gone. Life’s little everyday irritations suddenly seemed like world-shaking threats. People began to get on my nerves; their complaints and bad habits depressed me. I even considered joining the Foreign Legion to "get away from it – and them – all."
That’s when I began to feel that emptiness inside me where my sense of humor should have been. But I checked – and it was gone! Had someone sneaked into my house in the middle of a dark night when I was deep in a sound sleep and performed a "humorectomy" on me without my knowledge? Perhaps it was surgically removed in order to transplant it into somebody else. (But, honestly, St. Nick, I don’t think my sense of humor would be an exact match or a good fit for anybody else. Over the three score and ten years of my life, it has become rather specialized to my unique use of it!)
So, Santa, I’m asking for your help. I’m trying to be good, but it’s hard. Living without a sense of humor is like driving a bumpy road in a car with no shock absorbers!
I’d rather have my old sense of humor back if you can find it. But, if you can’t, I would accept a new model. Just see to it that it doesn’t come pre-programmed with a lot of dirty jokes and stupidity. I’m not sure I could get that erased and re-programmed in time to do me any good. My patience is already growing thin – SO HURRY UP, please!
Desperate and humorless,
P.S. Santa: Forget my request for my sense of humor or a replacement. I found it again, quite by accident! My feet began to giggle and I discovered that my sense of humor had slipped out of its usual place and dropped down all the way to the bottoms of my feet! I had been walking on it for some time thinking I had lost it!
Thank you for your kind attention to my request – now unnecessary. Happy holidays to you and yours.
(HO HO HO)