It’s been a very long time since I’ve needed to prepare for travel to an unknown and unfamiliar country. But I’m being told by people who seem to know what they are talking about that it’s time for me to travel to foreign places again. How shall I prepare?
Oh, the passport, of course; an essential document for any travel across national boundaries. Apparently I’ll not be crossing such lines, I seem to be headed for a world that cannot be compared with any other! So I’d better get my documents ready.
But I’ll need not worry about losing my passport on this trip. My destination nation has its own unique system. They require that the (access) port be inserted into the chest wall and be sutured in place! Not much risk of that (access) port getting lost or stolen from such an intimate location!
My ticket for travel, too, is unique. It’s not paper or cardboard which is so easy to misplace. It’s not even a e-ticket that can get lost in the internet wilderness. My ticket is a plastic strip on which are clearly written my name and my birth date and it will quickly be attached to my wrist as a bracelet! (Unfortunately, that bracelet doesn’t come off as easily as it goes on.) My hosts apparently want to be sure my travel documents are always available!
I’ll not need to pack many clothes. There is a standard uniform worn by all guests at this vacation destination. It’s a large cotton gown with tie closures. It’s loose and comfortable but not very concealing; a kind of “one size fits nobody” sizing.
Oh, and I must remember to stick in my little ”upchuck utensils.” There’s no doubt I’ll need them and since I won’t be traveling by air I’ll not be able to hijack a few air sick bags!
I wish I could find a little time to squeeze in some language study before I go. They tell me they speak the same language in my exotic little foreign ‘get away’ as I do here at home. I find that hard to believe. Even their informal conversations are peppered with a secret code I can’t understand. Most of their secret code consists of 8 to 10 syllable words which include sounds like “–cycline”, “–itis”, “oma”, “milliliters”, “protocol” “–therapy”, “stage...”, “malignant”, and other terrifying words I can’t pronounce. Maybe I’ll just skip language study in order to avoid depression!
My journey will only last about 6 weeks and I’ll come home every night. So what’s the big deal, you may wonder? During my travels into that foreign land, skilled professionals will be shooting me with radioactive rays and dripping high powered and toxic pharmaceuticals into my veins. Both will be aimed at some sneaky cancer cells that have tried to hide in my lung. That feels like a big deal to me!
So wish me “Bon Voyage”! I’ll soon be departing on my trip to that foreign country which is really only half an hour away! “What are you talking about?” you may wonder. Well, I’m headed for that romantic, exotic, “vacation par excellence” at the local Cancer Treatment Center!
4 Sept 2018 - mshr