Sunday, June 3, 2012

Our Haunted -- and Hunted -- House

 For years, our little "house on wheels" was welcoming and obedient. It always went where we led it, stayed put when we left it, and securely stored an amazing amount of stuff.

Lately, however, it seems to have become haunted! Things mysteriously move out of their usual storage places as we are traveling. This afternoon, for example, I opened the freezer door to get something out for supper and the ice cube trays fell out on my head and spilled their contents all over the floor. I went to the pantry cupboard for dishes, and three boxes of jello attacked me as a can of beans fell squarely on my foot. Worse yet, I heard the tinkle of broken glass and discovered that a plate had self-destructed all over the other dishes!

Drinking glasses were topsy-turvy in their storage space. The silverware tray looked like it had been attacked by a giant egg beater and there were a few utensils four shelves below among the canned goods. The turntable in the microwave had jumped out of its moorings and skidded into the corner of its enclosure as if trying to escape.

The books in the cupboard appeared to have had a drunken party. The files in my cupboard were well positioned to jump out onto the floor. The throw rug had moved several inches to the south and the bottles in the medicine cabinet looked hung-over or over-dosed. The velcro fasteners on the cushion of my rocking chair had come unglued and the cushion was hanging in a precarious position. Obviously our house was haunted!

The haunting spirits seem to become most active on rough roads. You know the type; you've traveled them, too. Some have the rhythmic bump-bump-bump-bump of highway sections that are not level and smooth. Then, of course, there are the potholes which can only be seen moments before you hit them: ka-whomp!

Unrepaired bridge surfaces are another jarring experience. There is always a steady stream of traffic in the other lane as you approach the bridge with the lizard-skin surface. So, you cannot change lanes and your entire vehicle shudders as all ten of its tires encounter the gaping holes wrought by several bitter winters: KA-RUNCH, ka-runch, ka-shudder, and lift-off!

Roads like this seem to delight those sneaky little demons who haunt our house. No doubt they live somewhere in the rear kitchen of our coach just waiting for such entertainment!

So, now when our house is haunted, it is also hunted. "Where's that extra jar of peanut butter? Oh, I see it rolling around in there behind the applesauce."

"Watch that puddle of melted ice on the...Oops!"

"I know I put that book back up here where it belongs, but I can't find it now. Oh, there in the game cupboard, eh?"

"That plate didn't just break; it shattered. Now I'll need to hunt and clean out all the glass slivers among the other dishes and silverware."

So, whenever our house becomes haunted, it also gets hunted as we try to find all the things that have left their assigned place and hidden elsewhere! But, in all that hunting, we've never yet caught sight of the mean-spirited little haunts that cause the problem! I wonder if we ever will?